


While I Stare At You

by yourfavoriteshirt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alone, Alpha Derek, Alpha/Omega, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Depressed Stiles, Depression, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Human Stiles, Kissing, Lust, M/M, Protective Derek, Random Tags, Romance, Romjance, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut, Smutty, Teenagers, handjobs, protector - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourfavoriteshirt/pseuds/yourfavoriteshirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is alone. No one answers their phone except for Derek. And he's what Stiles's needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The emptiness of his home didn't calm him as it usually did. No. He needed someone. But who the hell would answer their phone at 2 in the morning? Stiles grabbed his phone, dialing the familiar number. It rang. Rang. Rang again.  
Voicemail.  
Scott was probably asleep.  
Another number. Straight to voicemail. Lydia wasn't someone to count on, anyways.  
Stiles sniffled, running a hand through his hair.  
This was his last shot.  
\-----  
Derek sighed, scrolling through his television guide. Nothing was on. Well, nothing interesting, to say the least. His phone buzzed beside him and his ears perked up, grabbing it. "Stiles?" He read off the caller ID and sighed, answering the phone.  
"Hello?"  
"O-oh thank god." Derek could hear the shakiness in the younger boy's voice and he stood up abrupItly. "Stiles? What's wrong? Are you okay? "  
Derek had always felt protective over Stiles. Sort of like an older brother, but also in the sense of Stiles being his mate(though he would never admit it).  
"Y-ye.. actually, no." Stiles admitted.  
Derek bit his lip. "Is someone hurting you? Is someone else there?" Derek growled, feeling his muscles ache.  
"I'm alone. And I need you here." Stiles whispered. "I'm alone." Derek nodded to himself, running his free hand through his hair. "I'm on my way."  
"Okay."  
"Okay."  
"Bye?"  
"Bye."  
\-----  
There was a loud knock on the door around 15 minutes later. Stiles ran to the door with damp eyes. Derek looked at him with a confused look and Stiles pulled Derek inside, closing the door.  
"Okay, you're freaking me out. And that's pretty hard to do." Derek said, stepping towards Stiles. "What the hell is going on, Stiles?"  
Stiles sniffled, looking into Derek's eyes. "I-I'm just lonely." Derek removed his jacket, then looked at Stiles again. "Your house is hot, why are you in long sleeves?"  
But then, it clicked.  
Stiles had been wearing longer clothes. He had been more dependent on everyone. And now, he was standing in front of Derek, a weak, shaking, crying, _lying_ mess.  
Derek inched closer, taking one of Stiles's arms into his own. Stiles's breath caught in his throat as Derek pulled up his sleeve, then gasped. "Oh, Stiles.." Derek said softly, pulling Stiles into his arms. Derek held Stiles against his chest. The soft thump of Derek's chest made Stiles sigh, melting closer to him.  
"I'm sorry." Stiles whispered, his eyes watering. Derek shook his head. "No. Don't apologise." He said. Stiles nodded.  
\-----  
They ended upstairs after a few minutes of hugging and comforting touches. Stiles was sitting up and Derek was in front of him.  
"Why didn't you try to talk to us? Me? Scott? You could've even gone to Lydia, for gods sake." Derek said, concentrating on Stiles.  
Stiles laughed softly, his cheeks pinkened. "Well, I called Scott first. Then Lydia. But, it would be awkward telling Lydia I'm depressed, lonely, and horny at 2 in the morning."  
Derek felt his face get hot and he stayed silent.  
Stiles chuckled nervously. He looked over at Derek, but his eyes averted to a different location, to tented jeans.  
"I-"  
"It's"  
Derek inched closer to Stiles. "I want to make you feel better." Derek mumbled, his voice husky. Stiles barely nodded before he was pinned to the bed, Derek over him. "Let me make you feel all better." Stiles nodded.  
Derek hungrily kissed Stiles's lips, his hands resting on the younger teen's hips. Stiles kissed back, moving one of his hands to rest on Derek's chest.  
"You're a virgin?" Derek asked against Stiles's lips. Stiles let out a whimper. "Tell me what you want me to do to you." Derek hummed against Stiles's neck, sucking hard. Stiles moaned out, tangling his fingers in Derek's hair.  
"Touch me." He muttered. Derek pulled away, examining the mark he had made on Stiles's skin. He got off the bed, unbuttoning his jeans before sliding them down. "Pants. Off." Derek said, throwing his shirt aside.  
Stiles had stripped down to his boxers in a matter of minutes. He sat on the edge of the bed and Derek kneeled in front of him. Stiles's heart pounded in his chest and he looked down at Derek. Derek smirked, putting his hand on Stiles's thigh.  
"I'm gonna make you feel so good." He mumbled. Derek hooked his boxers with his thumbs and Stiles lifted his hips as Derek slid them down his legs.  
Scars, cuts, scabs, they littered Stiles's thighs. Stiles looked away. "So fucking beautiful." Derek mumbled, leaning down to kiss his thighs. "Beautiful."  
"Please." Stiles said softly. "Touch me please." Derek chuckled and moved his hand towards Stiles's length, curling his fingers around him.  
And sure, Stiles masturbated. It wasn't the first time he had the feeling of being stroked. But Derek was different. He took his time with Stiles, like he actually meant something to him. Maybe he did. Maybe Stiles was too caught up in the moment. Maybe Derek had feelings for him, too and they could be toge-  
Stiles's thoughts were interrupted and he let out a soft moan, his eyes fluttering closed. "Faster." He groaned out, tangling his hands in Derek's hair. Derek nodded, stroking Stiles a bit faster before he leaned his head down, wrapping his lips around his tip. Stiles let out a loud moan, propping himself on his elbows to watch.  
"Fuck. Close." Stiles watched Derek suck hard on his cock, and Derek looked back up at him.  
He lost it.  
Stiles bucked his hips with a loud cry, shooting hard down Derek's throat. Derek waited until he knew Stiles was completely done before pulling him out, pressing his lips against Stiles's.  
"So good for me." Derek mumbled against Stile's lips.  
Stiles cuddled against Derek lazily, pulling the covers up. "That was amazing." Stiles laughed. Derek lazily kissed Stiles's cheek, smiling. "Sleep, Stiles."  
They fell asleep as a tangle of limbs, Derek holding Stiles against him as if the world depended on it.  
And it did.  
Because Stiles was Derek's world.  



	2. Chapter 2

He was covered in sweat when he woke up. Sure, it felt disgusting. But Stiles was distracted from the hot, sticky feeling by the sight of a shirtless Derek Hale resting on top of him.  
Fuck.  
"Derek." Stiles hoarsely whispered. "Wake up." Derek moved a bit, allowing Stiles to move a bit from underneath him, only for Derek to hold him in his arms.  
Fuck, fuck, fuck.  
Stiles sighed heavily. "I need to pee." He admitted. Derek grunted in response, but he didn't loosen his grip. "Seriously, Derek, I have to pee."  
Still no motion.  
"Listen, you motherfucker, if you don't let go of me **right now ******, I will piss on you."

Derek laughed, rolling off of Stiles. They both got up from the bed. "I'm going to make us breakfast." Derek said, grinning. Stiles smiled, into the bathroom.  
"By the way, Stiles?" Derek followed behind him. "Hmm." He hummed out.  
"Nice ass."  
Stiles was still completely nude.  
After he used the bathroom, he put his boxers and Derek's shirt on, then trailed down the stairs.  
"Shi-fuck, uh.."  
Oh god, he probably burned the kitchen down.  
Stiles sniffed the air, then groaned.  
 **He burned the kitchen down. ******  
  
"Derek?" Stiles called into the kitchen,carefully making his way there. He breathed a sigh of relief, seeing his dad in the kitchen.  
 _His dad._  
 _**Derek is still here.**_  
"Hey, dad." Stiles mumbled, sitting at the counter. He looked up, sighing at him. "You can tell your boyfriend to come out from the closet."  
"What boyfriend?" Stiles tried to play it off.  
"The stupid one who parked his car in the driveway."  
Idiot. "Derek." Stiles softly called. He noticed his dad tense at the sound of his name. Derek came out from the hall closet, running a hand nervously through his hair. "Good morning, Officer Stilinski"  
He hummed in response. "Breakfast will be ready in a bit. Go on upstairs."  
Stiles and Derek practically ran up the stairs and into Stiles' bedroom. "Fuck, I didn't think he was home." Derek breathed out. Stiles shrugged. "Not the first time I've been caught doing something I'm not supposed to do."  
Derek bit his lip.  
Yeah, he knew what Stiles meant.   



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I've been really inactive. Sorry guys. Everything has been getting really hard for me, and I'm just having problems at the moment. So hold on a bit. Chapters might take a while.)
> 
> (And if Anne ever stumbles upon this, HI ANNIKINZ :) LOVE YOU. FROM, SUNSHINE.)

Derek and Stiles stayed upstairs until Officer Stilinski called them downstairs. They were prepared for the most awkward breakfast in the world.  
Well, almost prepared.  
Plates were passed out and food was on the table. "Thank you, Mr. Stilinski."  
He nodded, then stared at Derek. "Did you fuck my son?"  
Stiles choked on his food. "Dad! What the fuck!" Stiles blushed deeply.  
Derek, relatively calm, looked over at Stiles, then back at his dad. "I wouldn't _fuck_ your son. I would make _love ___to your son. But, no, I have not fucked your son." Derek simply said.  
Officer Stilinski looked at Stiles. "Don't do anything I wouldn't approve of." He said.  
"I always do, dad."

"Never again." Derek mumbled, running a hand through his hair nervously.  
"Oh, it wasn't that bad." Stiles said, smiling. "He gave me a box of condoms." Derek groaned, looking at Stiles. They had relocated back up to Stiles's bedroom after breakfast, and his dad had gone out to work. "Hey, at least he's allowing us to sleep together." Stiles said with a shrug.  
"You're not realising how terrible this is. He thinks we're having sex!" Derek groaned, throwing his hands up.  
Stiles shrugged. "So what, Derek! Its no like he came in here and chopped your head off." He shouted back.  
Derek got quiet and sat on the edge of the bed. "Hes going to kill me." He said quietly, looking into Stiles's eyes. "He probably doesn't like me." Derek mumbled.  
"Hey... hey, Derek, it's going to be okay, alright? We'll be fine."Styles sat next to Derek and pulled him into his arms. "Okay, so maybe he doesn't like you. Maybe he caught us, heard us, whatever. But until he says we can't be together, I _will_ fight to be with you. I'll get grounded. Yelled at. It's been done to me before. But we will be okay. I promise."  
Derek sniffled, looking away. "We're gonna be alright." He repeated.  
Stiles smiled softly, gently kissing Derek's temple.  
"And you remember that. It's a promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im really sorry for the inactivity. My writing sucks.   
> But thank you everyone for the kudos and bookmarks! It means a lot!   
> I'm gonna try to be more active. I promise. I've had a lot on my plate lately. Hospital, school, hospital again. Fml.

"So.. " Stiles trailed off, but biting his lip.  
Derek looked over with a quizzical expression, then it turned into a grin.  
"You're such an awkward kid, Stiles. " Derek said with a laugh. Stiles pecked Derek's cheek, grinning.  
"I know. "  
Their small talk slowly diminished to an uncomfortable silence and Stiles had to stare at the ground.  
"When are you going home?"  
Derek shrugged. "Probably later today. I don't know yet."  
 _How about never? ___  
"How about before dinner? "  
Derek nodded, looking at Stiles.

"Or never. "  
Stiles looked up at Derek, smiling. "I wish. "  
The next few moments were an awkward silence, consisting of glances at one another, looking away out of an unresolved shyness.  
Hey, at least Stiles wouldn't need to get off for a while. Unless his thoughts just so happen to trail to the hot werewolf who had his tight, pink lips around Stiles's cock last night, sucking him and stroking him unti-  
"Why are you blushing? " Derek asked with a smile, staring at Stiles. Shit.  
"No reason in specific." _REALLY, STILES?_  
That was the best answer he could come up with?  
"Sure, Stiles. I can tell my the flustered look and the semi-tented boxers that you're _totally ___telling me the truth right now. "  
"Shut up, Derek. "  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Leave a comment on whether or not I should continue with this story! Love you, my little sunshines (: )

"And it was fucking hard, dude. Allison was confused, too. And she's smart.. Are you even listening? " Scott's tone was serious as he glared at Stiles, playing on his phone. He smiled softly, his cheeks slightly pink.  
"Huh, what are we talking about? " Scott's eyes trailed back down to his phone as it buzzed in his hand, and he typed fast, biting his lip as he fought off a smile.  
"Dude. Who the fuck are you _talking ___to? " Scott reached for Stiles's phone, snatching it from his hands and Stiles let out a gasp, trying to grab it back.  
"Not funny, dude. Don't read that. " Stiles reached as Scott moved quickly, standing up as he scrolled through the texts. His eyes widened slightly, looking over at Stiles.  
"You got a text. From Derek. " Scott reluctantly handed the phone back.  
'Can't wait to touch you again. '  
Stiles immediately blushed, shoving the phone in his pocket. "Alright, study session over. " He said quickly, pushing Scott towards the door.  
Scott chuckled, standing still. "Dude, did you fuck Derek? " He asked, grinning. "I mean, it's cool that you roll that way. Doesn't bother me a bit. "  
Scott pulled away, feeling his phone buzz. "N-no. " He mumbled, looking up at him. "He just.. may or may not have done something involving his mouth. "  
Scott gasped, covering his mouth. With his other hand, he lightly punched Stiles's arm, a little stronger than a human punch. He winced, pulling his arm away.  
"When? " Scott looked at him, a slight smirk on his face.  
"Saturday. " He admitted with a small smile, looking away.  
"What the actual _fuck ___, dude. It's Thursday. " Scott said with a groan. "I thought we told each other everything! "  
Stiles nodded. "Im sorry, dude. "Stiles shrugged. "I called you Saturday at like.. 2 in the morning, and you didn't answer. "  
Scott's expression turned curious as he watched Stiles. "Why did you call me at 2 in the morning? "  
Stiles looked away briefly, then back at Scott. "I was sad. " He mumbled, swallowing hard.  
Scott knew exactly what Stiles meant by sad.  
"Shit. Dude, I'm sorry. " He said softly, pulling Stiles into his arms. Stiles nodded against Scott pulling away slightly.  
"Dude. It's fine. I got a boyfriend out of it. "  
Scott gasped louder this time, giving Stiles a harder punch in the arm.   
"I hate you. "

 

(I'm sorry! This chapter is just a filler. It will get slightly more coupley, and more sexual. Comment if you have any ideas! Thank you for reading! )


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Exams are almost over. Thank goodness. Friday and Monday are my last days of exams. And Monday I'm finished with school! (: I love you little sunshines! )

Stiles heard his car out front, so he peeked out the window. A smile erupted on his face and he walked to the door, his hand twisting the door knob and he opened it, his expression falling. The grass had wilted, a faded yellow collie. The sky was almost black. Wind howled around him, and he was his angry werewolf in front of him.  
"Stiles." He said in a low voice, his eyes glowing a color that Stiles couldn't really put a finger on.  
"Why are you here? " Stiles smiled, reaching out to wrap his arms around his werewolf. Derek growled, backing up.  
"I don't like you, Stiles. "  
Derek's tone was hard, and his expression was angry.  
"I-I don't understand. " Stiles stuttered, feeling the tightness in his chest and the burning in his eyes. He was going to cry. Thoughts ran through his mind. 'Don't do this to me. I need you. ' He had to look down at the ground. "But I love you. " He barely whispered the words. They hurt too much to even think.  
"Stiles. " His voice turned soft, calming. "Stiles, baby, wake up. "  
The images behind Stiles's eyes were fading quickly and he groaned, rolling over in his bed.  
"Get out. " Stiles grumbled. A figure moved next to him, grabbing his hips and nuzzling his neck.  
"Baby. " Derek whined. "Your dad let me in. He left for work. " Derek pressed a kiss to Stiles's neck, getting up from the bed. "Wake up and we can have food. "  


(I'll write another short little thing with them at breakfast when I get home from School. Leave comments below cx )


	7. Chapter 7

"What do you want to eat? "  
Derek was leaning against Stiles's doorframe, watching him carefully. It was 10. Derek last came in at 8.  
"Not hungry. " Stiles mumbled tiredly, sitting up as he rubbed his eyes. They were slightly red and he looked up at Derek.  
"Come on, you have to eat. " Derek made his way to Styles, sitting on the edge of his bed, his hand on his knee. "Why won't you eat? " Derek frowned.  
"I'm just not having a good morning. " Stiles said, watching out the window. The sky was dark, like the deep depressing grey that consumed his dream. Derek was about to talk before Stiles interrupted him.  
"Can we stay in today? " Stiles attempted to control his voice, it slightly breaking. "It looks like its going to storm. "  
Derek's face softened as he nodded. "We'll do anything you want to, baby." Derek reached out, cupping the smaller teens cheek with his hand.  
Stiles smirked slightly, looking into Derek's eyes "Anything? " Derek nodded, biting his lip. "Anything. Whatever your hormonal teenage heart desires. " Derek leaned forward, pressing his lips to Stiles's. They kissed softly, both pulling away.  
"I'd like to touch you. " Stiles said quietly.  
Derek bit his lip, sighing. "I don't think we can do that yet. " He said quietly, his voice holding a darker tone. "I'm not ready for that."   
Stiles looked away swallowing hard. "I knew you didn't like me. "  
Derek's eyes shot to his as he shook his head. "What? " His eyes were wide. "Why would I.. Stiles, what are you talking about? " Derek asked softly, looking into Stiles's eyes. "I like everything about you. "   
"I had a bad dream. " Stiles mumbled, their eyes meeting. "You told me you didn't like me. "  
Derek shook his head, chuckling. "Baby that was just a dream. " He said, smiling. "I doubt I'll stop liking you. " Derek nuzzled his face in Stiles's neck, smiling as he pressed soft kisses to his skin. "You're mine. " he breathed out.   
Stiles felt his skin flush.  
"Yours. "  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of posting. My sister is going to Germany and things have been busy, to say the least.  
> But, to the story. I have plans for this, and I don't think I'll end it for a while.  
> ANY IDEAS? SHOOT ME A COMMENT. xx  
>  **_Very smutty. ****_**__

They sat around Stiles' table, Stiles drinking a glass of water while Derek chewed his toast.  
"Do you like board games? "  
Amusement ran across Stiles' face as he watched Derek. Derek hesitantly nodded.  
"Yeah. Why? " He smiled, setting the food down.  
"It's raining. I figured we could stay inside and play a board game. " Stiles shrugged, looking into the bottom of his glass.  
"You're right. Stupid idea. " He shook his head in frustration, attempting to push his anxiety away as he pinched the skin on his thumb, a nervous habit of his.  
"Stiles. " Derek laughed, reaching his hand across the table and he took Stiles' in his.  
"If you want to play a board game, I would more than gladly play a board game with you.

Two hours later, after the power flickered off, Jenga pieces scattered across Stiles' living room floor and Derek's body was on his, pressure in all the right places as their lips collided at a nice pace.  
"Derek. " Stiles mumbled against Derek's lips as Derek continued kissing him.  
"Derek. " His voice was a tad more urgent this time as Derek moved his lips to Stiles' neck.  
"Derek, stop. " Stiles sat up carefully, looking at his boyfriend through wide eyes.  
"Whats wrong? " Derek's voice was nervous now and he grabbed Stiles' hand, squeezing gently. "Too fast, too rough, did I hurt you? "  
Stiles shook his head, but Derek's apprehensive expression didn't fall.  
"Why can't I touch you? " Stiles' voice was quiet and raw, a slight edge to it.  
Derek's face changed completely. He looked almost upset.  
"Stiles.. "  
Derek cupped his cheek, looking into his eyes. "I'm just not ready, baby. "  
Stiles shook his head. "How can you jump right to touching me, but you won't let me do anything? " Stiles growled, getting up in a jitter, nearly knocking over a candle.  
Derek slightly gasped as Stiles' foot hit the candle and he immediatly reached for the candle, grabbing it.  
"Stiles, we've only been together for _two weeks. ___I need time to put some trust in myself. "  
Stiles threw his hands up. "Well, what the hell does that mean? " Stiles was yelling now, staring at Derek.  
Derek stood up now, too, slightly angry.  
"Stop yelling at me because I don't want to end up hurting you. " Derek stepped forward, glaring at Stiles.  
"You're not gonna hurt me. " He groaned, throwing his head back.  
"Yes, I will, Stiles! " Derek grabbed Stiles' shirt, lifting him by it and he pinned him to the wall.  
"The last time I got a blowjob, _I fucked her face and she never spoke to me again ___. " Derek growled, staring into Stiles' eyes.  
"Handjob? I grabbed his hand and sprained his wrist because he didn't go fast enough. "  
Stiles swallowed hard, his eyes falling to the ground.  
"Then touch yourself for me. "  
Stiles' needy glistening eyes stared into Derek's.  
"Please. I want you to feel good. "  
Derek carefully let go of his shirt, blushing.  
He had never let anyone watch him before. Well, not with consent. (Being caught by his sister doesn't count. )  
"So you want to watch me. Touch myself. "  
Stiles' eyes lit up. "Yes?" He said in a hesitant tone.  
Stiles's eyes flickered down and- _Oh my god, he was taking off his pants._  
Derek slid them down his legs, moving to the couch and he sat down, his pants bunched at his ankles.  
"Come, sit down. " Derek mumbled in a low voice.  
Stiles could barely hold his excitement as he sat down next to Derek, watching his hands carefully as they moved to his groin.  
"I've never let anyone watch me before. " Derek said with a slight smirk.  
"It turns me on. "  
Derek pressed his palm down, his fingers running over his length slowly as Stiles watched, biting his lip.  
Derek was going to kill him.  
He pressed down again, letting his eyes close and lips part slightly. Stiles scooted closer, watching his hand, then his eyes went to his lips.  
"I really want to touch you. " Stiles whispered, moving closer to Derek and his lips pressed closer to the corner of his werewolf's mouth.  
Derek let out a low moan, shifting his hips up and he hooked his thumbs on his boxers, tugging them down with need.  
His hand wrapped around his length as he opened his eyes looking into Stiles'. Derek moaned again as he slowly stroked himself, Stiles' cock twitching in his jeans.  
"Stiles. " Derek moaned, his head rolling back in pleasure. "Oh god, Stiles."  
Derek's other hand moved over slightly, resting on Stiles' thigh.  
"Want you to touch yourself, too. " He moaned, looking over with hooded eyes. His face was flushed and he was biting his lip, innocent moans falling from his mouth, Stiles' name among the hushed words.  
"Fuck. Okay. " He mumbled, standing up and he dropped his pants, tugging his boxers down in turn, and sat back down, watching Derek.  
Derek looked beautiful, to say the least. Flustered by his own pleasure, hair a mess from the slight make out session, hand moving at a quick pace, raw moans falling from his lips.  
Stiles stroked himself, his cock twitching at the much needed attention, watching his boyfriend slightly moving his hips.  
"I'm close. " Derek mumbled, pausing to look at Stiles.  
Fuck, he wanted to scream. Stiles was so hot.  
"Derek. " Stiles moaned out, pulling him to his lips, kissing Derek urgently. They both started again, Derek breathing heavily against Stiles' lips.  
"I'm gonna come. " His low voice growled, flicking his wrist and his head falling back as he came, shooting onto the couch and his leg, groaning.  
Stiles let go shortly after, his moan turning into a whine for Derek, moving closer to him.  
Tiredly, Stiles spoke .  
"So, what board game are we going to play next? "  



	9. Chapter 9

The TV was loud. Maybe too loud, at that. And the empty space next to him was still warm.  
Derek sat up with a groan, feeling around next to him. Stiles wasn't in bed.  
"Stiles? " Derek spoke his name quietly at first, then slightly louder. He could see the light underneath his doorway. Derek and Stiles had stayed the night at Derek's flat, and Stiles must have gotten up to get a drink of water. Or something.  
Derek got out of bed, wearing only his boxers. He walked out slowly to his kitchen and sighed, seeing Stiles at the table with his head down and a cup of water in his hand, his fingers resting on it slightly. Derek smiled slightly, quietly rummaging through his kitchen drawer.  
"Cheese. " He whispered, snapping a picture.  
Stiles stirred slightly from the flash, turning his head and he let out a soft snore. Derek grinned bigger, setting the camera on the table and he gently moved the cup from Stiles's hand, lifting his small body.  
"Derek. " Stiles mumbled, squirming slightly. Derek carried him slowly to their room, stopping at the door when Stiles said something Derek wasn't expecting.

When Stiles woke up in the morning, Derek was wrapped tight around him. He didn't remember coming back to bed, or snuggling back to Derek.  
But he didn't mind much. Derek was warm, smelled nice, and his morning wood pressed against his thigh.  
 _Not bad._  
Stiles moved his leg slightly and Derek hummed quietly, pulling Stiles closer. He laughed, trying to move again. Derek pulled him back, moaning quietly and he opened his eyes.  
"Stiles. " He said, blushing slightly. "What on earth are you doing to me? "  
Stiles blushed, looking away. "I'm just trying to get up. I have to pee. "  
Derek grinned, letting go. "Okay then. " He said, sitting up.  
Stiles gave him an odd look, getting up and he walked to the bathroom. Derek was being clingier that usual.  
Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair.  
"I love you, too, Stiles. " He whispered to himself.

 

 

(If there is any confusion in this, Stiles told Derek he loved him in his sleep. At this time, they've been together almost a month. They'll do something cutesy and special. Don't you worry ;) )


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been too lazy to update. Sorry. I've had the time now stuff, and I haven't even been sad or anything.  
> But now I'm really down and feel like you guys hate me. 
> 
> On to the story.

Stiles tried hard to forget it. Derek didn't explain what he meant, but blushed and looked away.  
 _"Forget it, Stiles. It's nothing. " ___  
Stiles honestly felt bad for pressing it, but both boys sat awake in Derek's bed at 2AM, three days before their one month anniversary. It wasn't really a big thing for Stiles, seeing as they had been so close for so long.  
"Derek? "  
He shifted slightly, facing the bigger male and Derek's tired eyes fluttered open to look at Stiles. "Jesus. Do you ever sleep? " Derek joked, pressing his face closer so their noses touched.  
"Only with you. " The witty response was quick and Derek laughed, pressing his lips to Stiles' cheekbone. "What form of sleep are we talking about? "  
"Derek, I want to talk to you about something. "  
"If you want to sleep with me, just say it. " Derek nuzzled closer, pressing his lips now to Stiles' neck.  
"Come on, Derek. Be serious. I need to talk to you. " Stiles struggled to hold back a moan, but slightly failed. "I want to know what you meant wh-mm-when you said.. what you said. "  
Derek stilled slightly. "I don't want to talk about it. " Derek said in an embarrassed tone.  
Stiles stayed quiet as Derek kissed his neck again, sucking slowly as he moved lower.  
"I love your skin. It's always so soft and- _Stiles. "_  
It took a moment for Derek to really realize what was going on. Stiles was crying. Not just **crying ******, but his body shook as he started crying harder. Stiles hadn't cried like this since he had called Derek in the middle of the night. When he had realized how much he really did love Stiles.  
  
"Baby, I'm sorry. " He whimpered, pulling Stiles to his body. "Please don't cry. "  
Stiles rubbed his eyes, letting out dry sobs as his body shook. "Y-you never talk to me anymore. " He cried, trying to pry their bodies apart. "Let go of me. "  
Derek kept holding him. "I'll talk to you. "  
"Derek, please let go. " Stiles shouted this time, pulling from his grip. "I love cuddling you when I'm sad, but your skin is _100 fucking degrees ___." Stiles snapped, and Derek couldn't help but chuckle, causing both of them to burst into laughter.  
"Stop it. " Stiles growled, backing up. "Stop making me laugh. Stop it and talk to me. "  
Derek glanced at his hands, biting his lip. "What do you want to know? "  
"I want to know what that means. " Stiles urged, scooting closer and he took Derek's hand in his own.  
Derek blushed, looking into Stiles' eyes. "What what means? "  
"That dorky thing you said that made you of all people blush so bad. You say it. "  
Derek looked away, laughing uncomfortably. "Stiles, it was like.. in the moment. "  
Stiles shifted slightly. "So, you didn't mean it? " He bit his lip, his voice soft.  
Derek shook his head, his eyes widening. "I meant it, Stiles. I still mean it. I will _**always __**_****mean it. "  
"But what does it mean? " Stiles stared at Derek, still biting his lip.  
"It means I love you. I love you. I'm in love you. I'm yours. "  
Stiles' expression changed to a small grin, blushing.  
They didn't fall asleep until 5, a tangle of sweaty limbs in the budding morning light.  
  
  
 _"You have my heart." ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (They did not have sex. And if you can't tell, that's what Derek said. Adorableness. )


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay! 
> 
> I'm being active!  
> Just a friendly reminder that I love you guys, and every kudo, bookmark, view, and comment makes my day. Really. It does.  
> I love my little sunshines! :)

"Stop it. "  
Stiles stifled a laugh, biting his lip in concentration as he moved his hand lower, his fingers brushing the soft hair of Derek's happy trail. Derek hummed softly at the touch.  
 _"Stop it, Stiles. I'm tired. " ___Derek's low voice mumbled and he turned his head, facing away from Stiles. He squeezed his eyes shut while Stiles ran a hand gently over Derek's crotch.  
 **"Jesus Christ. " ******  
Derek turned over, looking at Stiles curiously. "What the hell are you doing to me? "  
Stiles let out a laugh, throwing his head back, and Derek could see the darkened mark on Stiles' neck, where he had made only the night before, making Stiles moan his name and pull his hair and _squirm ___beneath him.  
"You're hard. " Stiles took notice, squeezing Derek's length through his thin flannel pajama pants.  
"You're frisky. " Derek mumbled, sitting up. "We have that thing today. " Stiles pulled his hand away slowly, only for Derek to grip his wrist.  
"Don't stop. " Derek whispered, taking his bottom lip between his teeth.  
Stiles grinned, pulling his hand all the way away this time.  
"Gotta go to school. Sorry. " He pressed his lips to Derek's, smiling. "Love you. "  
It was still weird, saying they loved each other. Well, not weird.  
New.  
The feelings weren't new. It was just putting them to words that was new.  
Derek smiled. "I love you too. Let me drive you to school. " Derek swung his legs to the side of the bed, and Stiles grabbed his arm.  
"I can drive. " He said, biting his lip. Stiles got up from the bed, going to his dresser.  
"I might as well drive you. I have to go home anyways. I'm not gonna stay here all day. " Derek shrugged. "Besides, I want to take you. "  
Stiles eventually nodded, throwing on whatever jeans he could find and(of course) a plaid shirt.  
Stiles glanced at Derek, taking in his appearance. His hair ruffled about, pants hanging loose off of his hips.  
"You look hot, Derek. But I really need to go to school. Put on a shirt and let's go. "  


  
"If I have to last through even ten more minutes of this sappy love crap, I'm going to vomit. " Derek mumbled, taking a bite of his pizza. Stiles chuckled slightly, sipping his water. "Ignore them. They're happy. " Stiles responded, putting his hand on Derek's upper thigh.  
Derek tensed slightly, swallowing his food.  
"Not here. " Derek whispered harshly, glaring at Stiles. His smirk grew and he laughed, slowly moving it higher. Derek's eyes widened.  
"This isn't funny. " Derek said a bit louder, frowning. "You haven't eaten anything, eat some pizza. " Derek suggested, taking another bite.  
Stiles frowned slightly. He didn't think Derek had noticed he hadn't eaten anything.  
"I ate ate school. " Stiles bit his lip, dragging his fingertips up Derek's thigh and looked away, acting as if nothing was happening.  
"It's getting late, we should go. " Derek urged, clumsily pulling out a twenty. "It's over half, just keep it. "  
Stiles was hurriedly dragged alongside Derek, barely having enough time to say goodbye to his friends before he was pulled out the door and pressed against the wall.  
"Why did you do that? " Derek asked in a low voice. "There were people around. "  
Stiles nodded. "I know. " He said softly, his eyes flickering to Derek's lips. Derek followed Stiles' glance and took his bottom lip between his teeth.   
"You're my weakness, Stiles. "   
His eyes fluttered closed when Derek's lips brushed against his.   
"I love you. "   
They kissed slowly, Derek's body pressed against his own.   
When they pulled apart, Derek's cheeks were slightly pink, and he had to look away.   
"Derek. " Stiles said softly, frowning. "I'm sorry I did that."  
Derek turned back to face Stiles. "I want to try. "  
Stiles cocked his head slightly, blushing. "Try what? "  
Derek grinned, taking Stiles' hand into his. "You touching me. "  



	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> I know I'm really late on uploading this. Like. Really late. I've had a plan to write this for a while , but I'm almost always busy and Ive been grounded from my technology for a while, so I rarely have time to write. I'm trying!  
> seriously frigging love every one of you guys so much. It blows my mind that I have 8,000 reads. WHATTT.  
> When I started writing this, I thought that I'd write one or two chapters and I'd get maybe twenty reads, and delete it. I WAS MISTAKEN. This is honestly so amazing, and I'd like to thank you.  
> I hope you all are doing well, my little sunshines(:  
> ~s.k.

Stiles wasn't exactly sure what to do, or say, or even _think ___, honestly. He chewed on his lip as Derek held his hand, leading him to the door of Derek's house, and Derek grinned when he glanced over at Stiles, his hands moving to Stiles' waist and he pulled him closer.  
Derek's lips ghosted over Stiles', his breath coming out in soft puffs. "I love you so fucking much."  
Stiles felt dizzy as he smiled, pressing their lips together slowly. Derek always had this affect on him.  
He overwhelmed the smaller teen in all of the **right ******ways. He needed Stiles just as much as Stiles needed Derek. Stiles always felt loved, whether it was just Derek driving him to school in the morning and letting his thumbs lazily run over Stiles' knuckles, or it was being with him in any intimate way that he could. Derek always loved him. He always made him feel dizzy and sick, but _good ___, nonetheless.  
Stiles pulled away as Derek opened his door, and he was tugged behind Derek, blushing. "You don't have to if you don't want to." Derek said quietly, and Stiles shook his head.  
"I want to." He smiled, nuzzling closer to him as Derek closed the door behind them.  
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to do things for me, since I do them for you." Derek said quietly, lifting Stiles' chin so he was looking into Stiles' eyes. "I'm just so afraid I'll hurt you."  
Stiles frowned, shaking his head. "You wouldn't hurt me." He said quietly. Stiles moved closer, wrapping his arms around Derek's torso.  
Derek let out a small laugh and he stared down at Stiles, who had his face pressed into Derek's chest. He smiled and pulled away slightly, and Stiles stared up at him, chewing his lip.  
"I love you." Derek said one last time, his right hand holding Stiles' jaw in place, and Stiles let his eyes close as he blushed.  
"I love you, too." His voice was barely above a whisper as Derek pressed his lips to Stiles', closing his eyes and he moved his hands down, resting them on Stiles' slender hips.  
Stiles pressed his hand against the door, pushing it closed and moved his body closer do Derek's, letting his crotch grind dirtily against Derek, making him let out a weak moan.  
"Fuck, do that again."  
Stiles pulled away slightly, his lips leaving Derek's to press soft kisses on his collar bones.  
"Wanna... wanna feel you. Kiss you touch you mark you love you _mineminemine. ___"  
Derek let out a particularly loud groan as Stiles let his teeth graze Derek's collar bone, and Derek pushed towards Stiles until the smaller boy's back was pressed to the wall.  
"Stiles." He said quietly, his face flushed, and Stiles opened his eyes to look into Derek's.  
"Dominate me. Stay in control." He said quietly, and Stiles felt his skin heat up at the request.  
 _Dominate him?_  
He swallowed, giving Derek a small nod in response.  
Derek's breath came out in small puffs as Stiles brought his hand up to tangle in Derek's hair. He tugged slightly and Derek hummed.  
"I don't know what to do." Stiles said quietly. "It would be easier in your bed, instead of against the wall." Derek smiled softly, pulling from Stiles carefully. "Alright, alright. Get walking. We got things to do."  
  
Clothes spread across Derek's floor as usual, and Stiles couldn't get over how incredibly _warm ___his skin was. Always.  
"Come here." Derek said quietly, a small smile on his face. Stiles nodded and moved to where Derek's arms were held open for him, a space for him, always for him.  
Always for him, always only him.  
"Stiles." Derek filled Stiles' space, his face nuzzling to the smaller boy's neck, and Stiles let out a laugh.  
"Does that tickle?" Derek asked, and Stiles gave a small nod. Derek pressed his lips to his neck, biting down gently.  
"What about that?" He asked curiously, and Stiles could feel his skin heating up. "N-no." He said, blushing. "It felt good."  
Derek repeated the action, making Stiles hum in response, and then Derek pulled away.  
"I love you so much, Stiles." He spoke softly, his thumb trailing across Stiles' cheekbone slowly, and Stiles smiled in response.  
"I don't want to have sex yet." Derek said, and he stood up slowly. "We both know you're not ready. I don't want to hurt you."  
Stiles' brows furrowed. "I'm ready." He said surely, frowning. "I'm definitely ready."  
"Have you ever even been fingered?" Derek asked calmly, opening up his dresser drawer, and Stiles sighed. "That doesn't matter. I can do it witho-"  
He took notice in what was in Derek's hand.  
"Trust me. It'll hurt if you go without being stretched." Derek said, playing with the bottle of lubrication in his hand. "So, we're gonna do this." Stiles gave a small nod, sitting up slightly.  
"Lay back, baby, and spread your legs for me."  
Stiles obeyed, chewing on his bottom lip as Derek opened thr small bottle, squirting some onto his finders and he rubbed them together. Derek offered Stiles a small smile as he moved his hand down, slowly rubbing them around Stiles' hole, and he let out a soft breath.  
"Oh god." He mumbled, watching Derek carefully as a finger pressed against his rim, slowly going in, but stopping at the first knuckle.  
"Oh god. " He groaned, squeezing his eyes closed. "That feels weird. " He said, reopening his eyes.  
Derek tried to press further, gaining a sharp gasp from Stiles in response, and he got to his second knuckle before slowly pulling his finger almost all of the way out.  
"Can I do it again? " Derek asked, and Stiles nodded eagerly, chewing on his lip once again.  
Derek's other hand reached around, wrapping around Stiles' cock, and Stiles moaned in response, letting his eyes close while Derek pushed his finger in a bit deeper, curling it slightly.  
"Fuck, FUCK. Oh my god." He moaned out, his hands going to cover his face, stifling a loud groan of pleasure.  
"More. Fuck. Please more. " Stiles moaned, looking properly wrecked as Derek picked up pace with his hand.  
Stiles' breath came out in a mix of whimpers, moans, pants, one of his hands gripping Derek's bedsheets, the other holding the pillow case behind his head, and he let out another moan.  
"Derek, oh my god, Derek, I'm.. grsgh."  
Derek's lips wrapped around the tip of Stiles' cock slowly, and he moved his now two fingers a bit faster.  
Stiles groaned as he came, his hand moving from the sheets and his fingers tangled in Derek's hair, his voice fading as he closed his eyes, and Derek let him finish, slowly pulling out his fingers. He gave Stiles a small chuckle and moved to lay next to him, smiling.   
"I love you. " Derek said, grinning, and Stiles nodded.   
"Fuck, I love you so much. "   



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how late this is.  
> Honestly, I feel that at this point in the story, I'm not using the plot of Teen Wolf at all. The characters just.. Relate to Teen Wolf.  
> Anyways, on to the next chapter of this shitty story.

He woke up aching in more than one place. His chest was on fire, his head was pounding, his throat burning, and his nose stuffed. He couldn't breathe, and he sat up immediately.  
"Derek. " He croaked, breathing heavily and shaking the body next to him. Derek shot up, eyes wide.  
"What, what's going on? " He asked softly in a tired voice, and he stared at Stiles. "You look weird. What's wrong?"  
Stiles shook his head, everything around him swirling, and he gripped Derek's arm, opening his eyes. "Don't feel right. Something is wrong."  
Derek watched Stiles carefully before finally speaking. "Hospital?" He got a small nod in response, and Derek helped him carefully get dressed in Derek's clothes , forgetting to put a shirt on himself before leaving the house, carrying Stiles to the car.  
  
"So, just Drink fluids, take Tylenol, sleep? "  
The doctor gave a small nod, smiling at the two boys. "And don't overwork yourself. " With a small wink, Stiles was sent home, and Derek gave a small chuckle. "Influenza." Stiles muttered, hanging his head while Derek pushed him out in his chair, a requirement from the hospital. Derek lifted Stiles from the chair and into the car, and Stiles took the time to admire Derek. Really watch him while he jogged around to the drivers seat of the car, and he smiled. His boyfriend loved him more than anything.  
"You ready to go home, baby? " Derek asked softly, and Stiles nodded. "We can take a bath once we get home. "  
By the time they were home, Stiles was asleep in the passenger seat, Derek's sweater wrapped around him comfortably. They'd bathe later, Derek thought to himself, bringing the teen inside and he set him in his bed.  
Derek watched how peaceful Stiles looked and walked over to his dresser, pulling out clothes for them both to wear, and Stiles whined quietly. Derek looked over, seeing Stiles sitting up with a confused look on his face, and once Stiles registered that Derek was looking at him, he blushed.  
" What?"  
Stiles shook his head, adjusting the way he was sitting, swallowing hard. "I just.. I love you." he blurted out, chewing on his lip. "I love you."  
Derek smiled, sighing. " I love you, too, dork. Do you want to take a bath with me?" Stiles nodded and stood up, looking down at the floor before lifting his T-shirt from his body, and he blushed. "I, uh, have a slight issue." He said, smiling. Derek tilted his head to the side before glancing down, and he frowned. "Are you, uh.. Can I? Take care of you? Is that okay?"  
Stiles blushed heavier than before, staring at his hands. " I have a small request." He said quietly and he looked up at Derek, who was now closer. "Can you just kiss me? Like my face and neck and stuff. I'll do all the, um, touching." He cleared his throat nervously as Derek let out a laugh. "Baby, I'd love to kiss you while you touch yourself. That's hot."  
Derek moved to where he was sitting next to Stiles, and carefully, Stiles slipped his hand into his pajama pants. Derek tangled his fingers in the smaller teen's hair and he kissed him gently, slowly, and Stiles pressed his palm down, kissing back.  
Derek's tongue slid dirtily into Stiles' mouth and Stiles grabbed himself through his pants, moaning quietly as they kissed. Derek pushed their bodies closer and kissed him deeper, moving his hand to cup Stiles' cheek, only to feel that it was wet, and Stiles let out a small whine, kissing him harder.  
Derek carefully pulled away and Stiles turned so Derek couldn't see his face, speaking quietly. " Please, please kiss me." He said in a broken voice, sniffling, and Derek was more than confused, placing a hand on Stiles' thigh, and Stiles visibily flinched, and Derek frowned.  
"Baby?" He asked quietly, and Stiles pulled his hand from his pants, his body shaking. "Fuck, Stiles, what's going on?"  
Stiles began to cry harder, his body trembling as he wrapped his arms around Derek, sobbing onto his bare skin, and Derek pulled him into his lap.  
" Please don't leave me." He cried out, and Derek shook his head. "I'll never leave you.. why would you think I would?" Derek stroked his hair as he talked.  
Because I'm disgusting." He choked out, hiding his face. "You won't want someone damaged forever."  
Derek's jaw clenched. " What do you mean? I love you more than anything. Did someone hurt you?" He asked angrily, and Stiles mumbled something Derek couldn't hear, and hr uncovered his face. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. You weren't here and I was scared and lonely." He said before he started sobbing again, and Derek could feel his face fall.  
"Wait.. you cheated on me?" He asked, moving his hands from Stiles' body.  
Derek suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe when Stiles started to talk, and he carefully moved him from his lap, standing up. "No, what? Derek." He said in a rush, shaking his head as tears poured down.  
Derek shook his head, and Stiles grabbed his arm. "That's not what I said." He whimpered, and Derek looked down at his arm. "What the fuck did you mean then?"  
" I meant.. Ugh." He groaned, his eyes watering. "You didn't stay the night last week."  
Derek nodded, frowning still. "I had to go home to take care of things around the house."  
"And it was storming and I couldn't sleep."  
Derek moved so he was leaning against the wall, his heart pounding in his chest as he started putting things together. "Stiles.. Who hurt you?" He whispered, moving closer to him. He kneeled in front of the teen, cupping his cheeks in his hands, and Stiles let his eyes close, small tears running down, being stopped by Derek's thumbs. "I'd never cheat on you." He whispered. "You're all I want."  
Derek looked at Stiles sadly, swallowing hard. "Did you.. you hurt yourself." He said with a nod and Stiles opened his eyes to look into Derek's. He was on the verge of tears.  
"I love you." Derek whispered, sniffing slightly, and he looked away as he felt the tears that were welling up in his eyes fall, and he put his head in his hands.  
Stiles watched Derek, his heart aching. "Please don't cry." He whimpered, and Derek grabbed Stiles' arm, pulling him onto his lap.  
"Never wanna lose you." He said softly, hiding his face in Stiles' neck, and he sighed. "Love you so much."  
Stiles mumbled an apology before Derek's lips were pressed needingly to his own, and Stiles carefully kissed back.  
"Love you." Stiles moaned against Derek's mouth quietly, and Derek slowly moved the smaller teen so his back was now on the floor, and he was hovering over him.  
Derek moved so his lips were on Stiles' collar, kissing gently, and Stiles brought his hands up to Derek's hair, tangling his fingers as he let out a soft moan.  
"Let me make you feel good." Derek mumbled against his skin, as if asking for permission, and Stiles nodded.  
Derek pulled away, looking at Stiles carefully, his eyes red. "You sure?" Stiles nodded in response, chewing on his lip. (remember guys, Always practice safe sex. Make sure there is consent.)  
Stiles smiled when Derek pressed his lips to his forehead, whispering that he loved him yet again, and Derek's body pressed down slightly, their crotches pressed together. Derek moved his body carefully, causing Stiles to let out a soft moan, closing his eyes briefly. His hands rested on either side of the smaller teen's head and he rocked his hips forward, his breath coming out in concentrated puffs.  
Stiles let out another moan. "Mm.. Wanna take our clothes off." He mumbled, and Derek agreed, only pausing to remove each of their pairs of pants, leaving them both in only boxers.  
Derek moved his hips again, the feel of their bodies together causing him to let out a moan. Stiles watched Derek carefully as he moaned, his hands moving up to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin slightly before he let out a groan, nails going deeper and Derek kissed Stiles' skin again. He felt amazing moving against him, moaning out when Derek bit the soft skin on his neck, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he let out a low moan, releasing onto Stiles' stomach, and Stiles moaned Derek's name, finishing right after Derek.  
"Oh my god I love you so much." Derek mumbled, nearly laying on top of Stiles, sighing.  
"Love you too, wolf boy." He smiled at Derek and Derek smiled back, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. "Never gonna stop loving you."   
They slept through the afternoon on the hardwood floor of their bedroom, bodies tangled with one another.


	14. Chapter 14

"We need to talk."  
Stiles nodded slightly, not looking up from his phone screen. "Yeah, talking is good." He mumbled, staring intensely at the small screen.  
Derek sighed softly. "Stiles, I'm serious."  
"Me, too.. Did you read about the kid who almost died on that roller coaster? He was only six, his dad grabbed him when his be-"  
"Stiles." Derek sand, taking the phone from him.  
"I don't feel like there's anything we need to really talk about." Stiles mumbled, looking up at Derek. "We're fine and happy together." He said with a shrug.  
"It isn't about _us ___. It's about you. You know I love you, and I want you happy as an individual. Not just with me." Derek said, taking a seat next to Stiles.  
They were in Stiles's room. Stiles had left abruptly from Derek's house the other night, and he hadn't heard from him.  
"So, I'll say it again. We need to talk."  
"No. We NEED to eat. We NEED to sleep. We NEED food and water and oxygen. We do not need to talk."  
"Okay. Let me put it this way. We're talking. Because I love you. A lot. And if you love me, you'll talk to me."  
"Don't do that." Stiles bit, raising his voice. "This isn't about whether or not I love you. I don't want to talk about my problems. If I ignore things, they don't seem as fucking bad. I feel less like I'm dying for a little bit longer, Derek. Just let me fucking ignore things."  
Derek stared at Stiles. "Ignore what?" Derek shouted. "What can't you deal with? Let me help you."  
"I can't be with you anymore, Derek."  
Derek cocked his head to the side. "You.. you want to break up?"  
"I can't be with you anymore." He repeated, struggling not to cry. "I can't stay with someone who doesn't love me."  
"Stiles.." He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "You know I love you. You're the most important thing I have."  
"But that's the thing. I'm like a tv remote." Stiles stood up, tugging at his sleeve. "I'm just a project. No one continues to work on something once it works again. You'll fix me and leave."  
"That's not at all how I feel." Derek said, standing up. "I love you."  
"And I love you."  
"So don't leave me." Derek choked out, realizing he was crying. He mumbled something, rubbing his eye. "I love you. I'm in love you. I want a life time and then some with you, Stiles."  
Stiles squeezed his eyes shut, his hands at the sides of his head. "Stop."  
"No. I won't stop. I fucking need you. Don't do this." He growled, stepping back as to not frighten Stiles. "Please."  
"Please stop crying. I don't want it to be like this." Stiles said with a sob, shaking his head. "I love you. I don't want to hurt you."  
"So don't!" Derek moved forward, grabbing Stiles's hands. "I. Love. You. And only you. And you're mine. And yes, a tv remote. Once you fix a tv remote, you keep it. Because people depend on tv. And you need a remote for the tv to work. So yes. I am a television set and you are a remote. You may be a broken remote, but you are my remote. I need you Stiles."  
Stiles fell into Derek's arms, sobbing. "I need you, too. I'm so sorry." He choked out.   
"Talk to me. What's going on?"  
"I can't stop _destroying ___myself, Derek. I can't stop."  
They both continued to cry, Stiles leaving against Derek while he held him.   
"Baby, you need to talk to someone. I know you don't want to, but I can't fix this. I don't know. I'm lost, here."   
Stiles gave a small nod, sniffling. "Just try for a little bit first. I'll cooperate. I'll be good. I love you."   
"I love you so much."   



	15. Chapter 15

Derek squeezed Stiles's hand gently, giving him a small smile as they sat in the waiting room. Stiles anxiously bounced his leg, his breathing uneven, and he tightly closed his eyes.  
  
"I want to go home."Stiles said quietly, whimpering slightly. "I didn't agree to this. I'll go a different time, but I ju-"  
  
"Stilinski?"  
  
Both boys stared at the door where a tiny blonde woman was standing, holding a few papers. "Dr. Andre is ready to see you." She said with a soft smile, and Stiles nodded, squeezing Derek's hand.  
  
"You'll be here when I get out, right?" Stiles asked softly, standing up.  
  
"Of course. There's no place I'd rather be than with you, or waiting for you."  
  
Stiles pressed his lips gently to Derek's temple before connecting his lips to Derek's, and the boys let go of one another's hand.  
  
"I'll see you in an hour."  
  
  
  
"I'm Doctor Jameson Andre." He was sitting in a black leather chair cornered in the edge of the room. "How are you today, Stiles?"  
  
Stiles looked around the room, staring at a photo on the wall. His office was small, and he had family photos hung around the room. Him and his husband, their dog, him and his mom wearing reindeer ears. He seemed like a nice guy, handsome in the photos.  
  
He looked up to see Dr. Andre staring at him, and Stiles felt his face heat up. "How are you today?" He asked again, and Stiles nodded in response. "I'm fine."  
  
Dr. Andre nodded and went to speak, but Stiles spoke first. "Honestly, I don't even need to be here right now. I'm fine, Dr. Andre."  
  
A sad smile spread across Jameson's face as he watched Stiles fidget. "Please, call me Jameson." He cocked his head to the side slightly. "Alright, so you're fine then, and you don't need to be here. So why had you previously felt the need to come and see me?"  
  
"My boyfriend scheduled the appointment." He said, shaking his head.  
  
"And you showed up, yet you claim to be completely fine and this appointment be necessary?" Jameson glanced down at his notebook, scribbling something small down before looking back up at Stiles. "Did your boyfriend force you to come to this meeting?"  
  
"No, no, gosh no. Derek doesn't force me to do things. He just, well, he strongly recommended it. "  
  
"I see. Is there a reason that he gave as to why you should come? What did he say that you saw to be true?"  
Stiles watched Jameson carefully and how his jaw moved when he talked, and he swallowed hard when Jameson watched him in return. "I, uh, don't like to eat very much."  
  
Jameson watched Stiles and nodded. "Stiles, do you know about doctor-patient confidentiality?" When Stiles didn't respond, Jameson continued to talk. "Anything you say will stay between us, unless you are thinking of hurting yourself, hurting others, or someone else is hurting you. Any personal information you tell me, whether it be your thoughts or feelings, or something relating to your family or relationship, shall stay between you and I." Jameson wrote something else down and looked back at Stiles. "What did you see to be true?"  
  
"Okay." Stiles said softly, looking at his hands. "I stopped, I did. But it was a problem, and I know Derek gets scared and he doesn't know how to help me anymore. But I stopped." His eyes pricked with tears and he shook my head. "So don't report me to the hospital. I don't hurt myself anymore."  
  
Jameson nodded, writing more. "Stiles, when was the last time you hurt yourself, or felt the urge to hurt yourself?"  
  
"I haven't hurt myself in a week, maybe two." He said softly, looking away. "I want to, but I don't want Derek to leave me."  
  
Jameson shook his head. "Stiles, it's very good that you aren't acting on these urges of self mutilation, but I don't think Derek will leave you for this. You're a strong kid, and I think he knows this but doesn't know how to help you further. Derek wouldn't leave you. I can tell that he only wants the best for you." Jameson reached over and took Stiles's hand gently, offering him a small smile. "How do you feel right now, in this very moment?"  
  
"I feel weak." Stiles said with a choking sob. "His body began to shake. "I'm not strong. I'm broken and he isn't going to want me anymore." Stiles squeezed his hand, staring at him while tears rolled down his face. "Please teach me to love myself so I can give him what he deserves."  
  
Jameson ran his fingers along Stiles's knuckles and gave him a nod. "I can do that." He promised.  
  
  
  
Stiles walked out of the office an hour and a half after the appointment had began. He had only paid for 45 minutes, but Jameson had encouraged him to stay longer. He was nice. He seemed to really care about Stiles, and he was attractive. Derek sat in a chair, glancing around, and when the door opened, he stared. When he noticed it was Stiles, he jumped up, smiling. "My baby." Derek said quietly, walking over to him. "Are you ready to leave?"  
  
Stiles nodded, wrapping his arms around Derek. "I need to come back next week at the same time." Derek nodded, kissing the top of Stiles's head. "Let's go home, love."  
  
  
  
"I love you so fucking much, you know. I'm proud of you for continuing with therapy."  
  
Derek moved around the kitchen, grabbing random items and putting them on the counter. Stiles sat at the table, watching him carefully with a smile. He had been going to therapy twice a week instead of weekly, and it had been nearly two months now. He felt completely different. "I love you, too."  
  
"We're having chicken fajitas for dinner, if that's alright with you." Derek said, pausing to watch Stiles. "I'm so in love with you."  
  
"Stiles felt himself blush, and he nodded at derek. "Fajitas are fine by me."  
  
"Derek?" Stiles asked solely, standing up so he was behind Derek, who was slicing a chicken breast.  
  
Derek hummed in response.   
  
"I want you to make love to me." he said softly, leaning against Derek. "Tonight. And don't say I'm not ready."   
  
Derek could feel his cock twitch at the thought and he turned slightly. "You're sure about this? I want you to be definite that this is what you want, Stiles."   
  
"I've never been more sure."   



End file.
